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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771715">Punks Don’t Dance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan'>WhatsYourNameMan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s not Sunset Cis either [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex is a good dancer, All the phantoms are trans, Carlos is a good brother, Coming Out, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Ray is a good dad, They can be seen heard and touched but they’re still ghosts, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, implied/referenced transphobia and homophobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:00:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first fifteen years of his life, Alex was a dancer. </p>
<p>Or, Ray Molina helps his new ghost drummer son rediscover his first passion in life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex &amp; Ray Molina, Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s not Sunset Cis either [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>432</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Every Story Ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If I have to be the entire supply and demand for trans!Phantoms content then I’ll do it. </p>
<p>Title and chapter names from “Punks Don’t Dance” by Crystalyne.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first fifteen years of his life, Alex was a dancer. There were a lot of things he hated about it. The costumes that started out frilly and became more sexualized as he got older. The rule that he had to keep his hair long enough to put in a bun. And for a brief time when he was desperately trying to disassociate himself from anything feminine, he even convinced himself that he hated the pinkness of it all, despite it being his favorite color. </p>
<p>But he <i>loved</i> to dance. And that in itself made everything else worth it. There was rarely a time where he wasn’t at the studio. He took every class that was available to him—ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, musical theater, contemporary, lyrical, ballroom—he even briefly tried his hand at Irish. He was never more at peace than when he felt the music flowing through him, felt his body moving in perfect harmony with both the music and those around him. The only reason he gave up classes was because he couldn’t commit to both the band and dance full time. Well, that, and that he knew his studio would no longer allow him once he came out. But making music felt way better anyways, and drumming was a lot like dancing when he thought about it. </p>
<p>And it’s not like he ever stopped dancing. He’d never forgive himself if he lost his hard-earned skills. After he stopped performing, it became a private thing. Something he does when he’s alone, and stressed, and he either doesn’t have access to his drums or it’s too late at night to play them. Sure, he dances in public sometimes, at parties and concerts and to make his friends laugh, but it’s mostly his little secret. </p>
<p>Today, he isn’t exactly stressed, per say. He just had a date with Willie. It went well—great, actually—but that left him with a lot of unused anxious energy. Normally, he would use his drums to get it out, but Julie and Luke are working on lyrics in the studio and he doesn’t want to disturb them. He knows the house is empty. Ray took Reggie to watch Carlos’s little league game, grateful to have another sports fan around the house.</p>
<p>So, Alex poofs into the living room and immediately sets his eyes on the stereo. He finds the record that he had discreetly slipped into Ray’s collection on another day like this—the soundtrack to the 1993 version of <i>The Nutcracker</i>. </p>
<p>It was the last show Alex had danced in, before he cut off all his hair and joined a band and got kicked out of his house. He played Clara. He thinks maybe he should be embarrassed by it. Clara was the pinnacle of femininity, and hundreds of people had seen him in that role. But when he thinks back on it, all he feels is pride. He worked his ass off for that role, practicing every day for years with it in mind. Alex may be bad at being a girl, but he’s a damn good ballerina. </p>
<p>He closes his eyes as the familiar sounds of Tchaikovsky wash over him. He starts to dance, the choreography as fresh in his mind as it was 27 years ago. His brain goes quiet—there’s only space for the music and the movement. </p>
<p>He doesn’t open his eyes again until Act One ends abruptly. There’s a scratch on the record, right at the end of “Waltz of the Snowflakes,” put there when Alex threw it into his bag a little too aggressively while leaving his parents’ house for the last time. </p>
<p>He looks out the window and sees the sun has set. A little spike of anxiety shoots through Alex. Ray, Reggie, and Carlos must be home by now. Reggie knows he’s a dancer, of course. Hell, he was at Alex’s actual <i>Nutcracker</i> performance. But Ray... He doesn’t strike Alex as the type of person to think ballet is only for girls, but he’s learned to be cautious. </p>
<p>He poofs out to the studio and finds Reggie sitting on the floor in front of Luke and Julie, listening to their new lyrics. Alex sits next to him, trying to hide the nervous bounce of his leg. </p>
<p>Reggie leans over to him. “That was really good.”</p>
<p>Alex’s chest burns with panic. “You saw?” </p>
<p>Reggie nods, a wide grin on his face. “I haven’t seen you dance in so long, dude! Well, not like that, anyways. You’ve still got it.” </p>
<p>Alex smiles at the compliment, but he can’t shake the fear rising up his throat. “Did—did Ray and Carlos see me too?” </p>
<p>Reggie picks up on Alex’s anxiety. “Yeah...yeah, they did.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Alex whispers. </p>
<p>“But I distracted them!” Reggie says, desperate to soothe his friend’s worries. “Not that they reacted badly, but I figured you might not want them to see? So I offered to help make dinner. They didn’t want my help, but it got them out of the room, so—“</p>
<p>“Thanks, Reg,” Alex says, patting his knee to let him know he really means it.</p>
<p>Carlos pokes his head into the studio. “Dinner’s ready.” </p>
<p>“Thanks Carlos,” Julie says, pulling Luke away from his songbook. </p>
<p>Alex and Reggie poof into the dining room together, beating the others there. Ray lays out the last of the dishes on the table. </p>
<p>“Hey boys,” he says, at this point completely un-phased by dead teenage boys randomly appearing in his house. </p>
<p>“Smells great, Ray.” Reggie grins as he drops into his seat and starts piling his plate with generous helpings of everything. </p>
<p>Alex moves a little slower. He sends a few cautious glances towards Ray, but nothing seems out of the ordinary. </p>
<p>Julie, Luke, and Carlos arrive, and they start eating, Ray asking for updates on each of the kids’ days. Normally, this is one of Alex’s favorite parts of the day. When he left the house at 16, he never thought he’d have a family dinner like this again. </p>
<p>Now, though, he’s too anxious to enjoy it. Thoughts ricochet around in his head, louder than any drum beat. His eyes dart between his food and Ray, waiting for the moment where the whole thing comes crashing down. </p>
<p>He can imagine Ray turning to him, speaking with that same disgusted tone his father used 26 years ago. <i>How can you expect anyone to take you seriously when you keep doing that pansy shit? You’ll never be a real man.</i> </p>
<p>Alex gives his head a little shake, trying to dismiss the thoughts from his mind. Ray doesn’t even know he’s trans. Alex isn’t quite as comfortable around him as Luke and Reggie are, so when the two of them had decided to come out, Alex asked that they leave him out. Ray has been nothing but accepting of the two of them, but Alex is slower to trust. </p>
<p>This makes him feel better for a moment, but soon more thoughts creep in. <i>What if this is how he figures out I’m gay? What if he’s not okay with that?</i> </p>
<p>His spiral is interrupted by Ray finally turning his attention to him. </p>
<p>“Alex, I didn’t know you were such a fantastic dancer,” he says. </p>
<p>Alex is immediately on the defense. “I can explain—“ He freezes as his brain catches up with what Ray said. “Wait, what?” </p>
<p>“Sorry, I know you probably didn’t mean for us to see...” Ray looks almost embarrassed. Alex is dumbfounded. “But mijo, you’re incredibly talented.” </p>
<p>Alex’s heart catches on <i>mijo</i>. Ray’s called him that a many times before, but he’ll never get over how amazing it feels. And he’s still not entirely convinced this won’t be the last time he hears it. “I... thank you?” </p>
<p>Carlos jumps in. “It was so cool, Alex! Can you teach me? Dad said I could take lessons, but I have my own primo ballerina right here!” Carlos frowns. “Or is it ballerino?” </p>
<p>Alex becomes about eight times more overwhelmed. He feels Luke’s knee knock into his under the table, which grounds him a little bit.</p>
<p>Alex turns to Ray. “You’d let Carlos take ballet?” </p>
<p>Ray nods, seeming to miss the implications of Alex’s question. “Well, yeah, I know he’s already so busy with baseball and his YouTube channel, but he looked so excited when he saw you.” </p>
<p>Carlos nods enthusiastically. “How did you lift your leg so high? I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” </p>
<p>The chuckle Alex lets out is more disbelief than amusement. “Lots of practice.” </p>
<p>Carlos nods like this is the most important advice he’s ever received. Ray ruffles his hair and turns back to Alex. </p>
<p>“I told him you’re probably too busy with the band to teach him, but I was wondering if you remember the name of your studio? I know it’s been a while, but if their training is that good, they must still be open.” </p>
<p>Alex’s heart falls to his feet. If he tells Ray the studio name, he’ll look it up and discover that it’s an all girls studio, and then he’ll <i>know</i>. </p>
<p>“I, um, I can’t think of it at the moment, but I’ll let you know if I remember.” </p>
<p>Ray grins at him. “Thanks. Julie, how was school?” </p>
<p>Julie starts telling him about Flynn’s latest confrontation with Carrie, and Alex gets lost in his thoughts. </p>
<p>Eventually, one thought comes to the forefront of the hurricane in his mind: Maybe, just <i>maybe</i> it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for Ray to know.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Whoops this ended up being longer than expected so I’ll post the rest in another chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Wonder Where You’ve Been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alex is my comfort character.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After dinner, Alex finds Ray washing the dishes with headphones on, singing under his breath in Spanish. Alex doesn’t want to interrupt him, but if he doesn’t get this out now he may never find the courage again. </p>
<p>Alex clears his throat. “Um, Ray?” </p>
<p>Ray doesn’t hear him. </p>
<p>“Ray?” He tries again, a little louder, but there’s still no reaction. </p>
<p>Alex is debating if he should just give up and leave when Ray finally turns around, notices Alex, and jumps, dropping the dish he’s holding. Alex immediately lunges forward to help clean it up.  </p>
<p>“Oh my god, Ray, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” </p>
<p>“It’s alright, mijo,” Ray assures him, “I’m getting clumsy in my old age.” He laughs and shoos Alex away from the broken ceramic. Alex doesn’t mention that out of the two of them, he’s the one who can’t cut himself on the shards. </p>
<p>Ray grabs a broom from the pantry. “Did you need something?” </p>
<p>“Um, yeah. I actually...I actually remembered the name of my old dance studio.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s Debut Dance Academy. But I don’t think Carlos can go there. It’s, um...” He takes a deep breath. No going back. “It’s girls-only.” </p>
<p>“Oh, did they change it?” </p>
<p>Okay, so apparently there’s some going back. But he’s gotten this far already, so Alex admits, “No. It was all girls when I went there.” </p>
<p>Ray snaps upright, the pieces clicking together in his head. “Alex, are you...”</p>
<p>Alex nods, twisting the hem of his sweatshirt in his hands. “I’m trans. And gay. Not that that’s important right now but. You know. Thought I’d get it all out at once because I don’t know which parts you’d have an issue with and I don’t really want to like, have you be cool with one thing and then throw me out for the other thing, so, yeah.” </p>
<p>Ray stares at him for a moment, and Alex’s stomach twists in fear. </p>
<p>“Can I hug you?” Ray asks finally. </p>
<p>It takes Alex a moment to process this request. When he does, he nods. </p>
<p>Ray drops his broom and wraps his arms around Alex. The hug is so tight, so protective, that Alex completely loses it. He bursts into tears. </p>
<p>“It’s alright, mijo,” Ray whispers. “All of it. It’s all okay. Thank you for telling me.” </p>
<p>He lets Alex cry for a while, just holding him as he comes back to himself. Eventually, Alex pulls away and wipes at his eyes. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” he whispers. </p>
<p>“Of course, Alex,” Ray says. “Can I ask you something? No pressure to answer if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>Alex nods. </p>
<p>“Is there a reason you didn’t feel safe enough to tell me sooner? Did I do something wrong with Luke and Reggie?” </p>
<p>Alex feels a pang of guilt for making this amazing man feel like he’s isn’t one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to him and his friends. </p>
<p>“No,” Alex assures him. “It’s not your fault. I just... I don’t have great experiences with conversations like this.”</p>
<p>“Your parents didn’t react well?” Ray guesses. </p>
<p>“They threw me out,” Alex says with a rueful smile. </p>
<p>“Mijo, I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Alex shrugs. “I didn’t want to be there anyways.” </p>
<p>“It still must have hurt. Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally.” </p>
<p>“Yeah...” Alex trails off, but Ray can tell he has more to say, so he waits. Alex takes a deep breath. “Dance was my thing, before drumming. I had to quit when I came out, because even if my studio took boys they wouldn’t take me. But my parents used dance against me. They said I couldn’t possibly be a real man since I loved it so much. I think that’s what hurt the most. That now I have to be ashamed of one of the only things I’ve ever been really proud of.” </p>
<p>Ray puts a hand on Alex’s shoulder, and he doesn’t miss the way Alex tenses before remembering he’s safe here and relaxing. “Alex, listen to me,” Ray says. “In this house, you never have anything to be ashamed of. Everything that makes you you is something to be proud of.” </p>
<p>Alex wipes at his eyes. “Thank you, Ray. For everything you’ve done for us.”</p>
<p>“You boys deserve all the love in the world.” Ray pauses, and an idea comes to him. “When I find a studio for Carlos, do you want me to sign you up too?” </p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“You’d definitely be in a higher class level than him, but maybe we can find a class at the same time.”</p>
<p>“Is that allowed?” Alex asked. “Like, legally?”</p>
<p>“It would surprise me if life status is one of the things they check when you sign up.” </p>
<p>“But lessons are pretty expensive. You’re already feeding three new mouths and—“</p>
<p>“Alex. I make enough to make sure all my kids can do things that make them happy. That includes you.” </p>
<p>Alex stares at him for a beat, dumbfounded. Finally, he throws his arms around Ray. “Thank you. This means so much to me.”</p>
<p>Ray kisses the top of his head. “I know, mijo.” </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p>
<p>No matter how hard he tries, Alex can’t get rid of the butterflies swarming his stomach as the car pulls up to the dance studio. Ray switches off the stereo—<i>The Nutcracker</i>, at Alex’s request— and turns so he can see both Alex in the passenger seat and Carlos in the back. </p>
<p>“Have fun, boys. Call me when you’re done.” </p>
<p>Carlos is immediately out the door. Alex is a little more hesitant. Ray reaches over and squeezes his arm. “You’re going to be great.” </p>
<p>Alex nods and takes a deep breath. “See you later.”</p>
<p>“Knock ‘em dead, mijo. Pun intended.”</p>
<p>Alex laughs and gets out of the car. He jogs to catch up with Carlos, who is already halfway to the door. When they reach the building, Alex stops short. There’s a flag hanging in the window. It’s one of the new ones Julie showed him and the boys: a rainbow flag with black and brown stripes and what he now knows to be the trans colors in a little triangle on the side. </p>
<p>“Come on, Alex,” Carlos calls. “We’re almost late.”</p>
<p>Alex lets Carlos pull him into the building, allowing himself to finally feel the full joy of having one of the most important things in his life—or, afterlife—back.</p>
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